Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sleep, or lack there of

For the past several evenings, I have found myself waking up around 3/3:30am. Most nights it is almost exactly 3am. Wide awake and very aware. Often unable to fall back asleep for at least an hour - an hour and a half. Restless.

Upon going to bed most of these nights, I have been restlessly awake for nearly an hour.

I think my mind is racing but I can't seem to keep up with it or work through whatever issues that may be keeping me up at night.

I'm anxious about the new space.

I'm worried I won't get enough rest this summer. And am therefore not getting enough rest now because I am worried.

I'm feeling creatively uninspired. Maybe because I'm feeling stressed and lacking rest.

Everything is happening. And I'm staying amazingly on top of it so far. But fear that I'll lose that grip soon.

I have strong feelings for someone that I'm not sure what to do with.

I want to sleep with my window open and not hear sirens, loud music, or (worst of all) cat sex.

I need to cleanse my sleeping space.

I need to work my body tired.

I feel scared and emotional and foolish for making myself feel those things when I have so much good to be grateful for.....

I'm not sure how best to take care of myself right now.

Monday, May 6, 2013

River Swim

Riding home down the river path.
Sun shining and smelling the blooming bounty of spring.
I start thinking of the river to my left and the wonderful, bizarre events that make up my life.
Business meetings and jumping in the river.
Mind moves to Steve and how he'd be a fun person to jump in the river with right now.
Approaching the jump point.
Steve in his underwear! Fresh from a swim.
Did I know or did the universe? Or are we just one in the same?
"I'll watch you stuff"
Clothes off.
Hmm...a passenger filled car in sight of my very white ass.
Curious stranger : "Are you swimming? Can we watch?"
...
"We do this all the time."
Down into the water I go.
Splash.
"There's a fish!"
Happy spring and welcoming summer.