For Ithacards

Sleep, or lack there of

For the past several evenings, I have found myself waking up around 3/3:30am. Most nights it is almost exactly 3am. Wide awake and very aware. Often unable to fall back asleep for at least an hour - an hour and a half. Restless.

Upon going to bed most of these nights, I have been restlessly awake for nearly an hour.

I think my mind is racing but I can't seem to keep up with it or work through whatever issues that may be keeping me up at night.

I'm anxious about the new space.

I'm worried I won't get enough rest this summer. And am therefore not getting enough rest now because I am worried.

I'm feeling creatively uninspired. Maybe because I'm feeling stressed and lacking rest.

Everything is happening. And I'm staying amazingly on top of it so far. But fear that I'll lose that grip soon.

I have strong feelings for someone that I'm not sure what to do with.

I want to sleep with my window open and not hear sirens, loud music, or (worst of all) cat sex.

I need to cleanse my sleeping space.

I need to work my body tired.

I feel scared and emotional and foolish for making myself feel those things when I have so much good to be grateful for.....

I'm not sure how best to take care of myself right now.

River Swim

Riding home down the river path.
Sun shining and smelling the blooming bounty of spring.
I start thinking of the river to my left and the wonderful, bizarre events that make up my life.
Business meetings and jumping in the river.
Mind moves to Steve and how he'd be a fun person to jump in the river with right now.
Approaching the jump point.
Steve in his underwear! Fresh from a swim.
Did I know or did the universe? Or are we just one in the same?
"I'll watch you stuff"
Clothes off.
Hmm...a passenger filled car in sight of my very white ass.
Curious stranger : "Are you swimming? Can we watch?"
...
"We do this all the time."
Down into the water I go.
Splash.
"There's a fish!"
Happy spring and welcoming summer.

Soft Shell : new business cards

Intensity

I'm feeling an intense energy within myself this week and think it is a direct response to all that is going on around me.

-moving Small World
-dudes
-moving into the attic / setting up a painting studio
-snow in April
-2 day craft fair coming up
-etc etc

I need to be careful not to foster this manic energy.
Must continue saying no to coffee.
Must sleep.
Must stretch.
Must not obsess.

Must go go go but with calm and focus and understanding for myself and those around me.

breathe.

Humble beginnings

Tuna Fucking Salad

-miso mayo (lots, 1/2 pint)
-dill (slightly more than the 'small' i intended)
-turmeric (moderate)
-paprika (lots)
-salt (moderate)
-onion powder (small)
-mustard (Annie's Djion)
-raw carrot (1, small)
-scallion (2)
-miso (>1tsp)
-tuna (obviously)

Food

Giving this another go. I've been having a hard time with sugar lately, I think, so maybe this will help me keep track of things.

Breakfast:
-Roobios Chai tea (2 mugs)
-arugula
-2 eggs, sunny side down fried in butter
-large slice of sourdough rye with chèvre
-saurkraut  
Feeling : good, awake. Occasionally aware of stomach/digestion but have not pooped yet.

Around noon yesterday I ate an apple followed half of a sunflower butter and jam sandwich on the sunflower sesame multigrain bread and 3 small bits of vanilla ice cream that Luke made. We were halfway through a 2 1/2 hour staff meeting and my attention span and patience plummeted after eating.  Antsy, distracted, unfocused, and foggy in the head. Definitely felt a spike in my energy level, but not a positive one. By 3 or 4, was down from it and pretty tired. Pushed through, but definitely felt lethargic and also a bit more level minded.
I have the other half of the sandwich and intend on eating it this afternoon and noting my reactions. 

Sleep

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been using the Sleep Cycle application on my phone. It is pretty interesting. It tracks the depth of your sleep based on you movement. I would almost think it would bullshit if the alarm didn't start going off right as I stir into vague consciousness in the morning.

It is definitely helping me to wake up at a more regular, most consistent time every day. On the few mornings I have not used it or set it later than other mornings, I usually wake up around the time I normally set it for. And the wake up alarm I am using could not be more pleasant.

I love being able to see the graph of my sleep.

When I wake up in the middle of the night (which is most nights), I can see it in the graph and know that it is accurate.

The only measurement I don't agree with it the Sleep Quality %. The graph above is from last night's sleep. It looks like I spent most the night within the Sleep-Deep Sleep range and that it wasn't until closer to the morning that I started to move towards being Awake. That looks like good sleep to me. I also woke up feeling well rested, even if I only spent under 7 hours asleep.

And then there is a night like this one where the quality reads at 90%, but the sleep fluctuation is enormous. But I was in bed for over 8 hours.

I am starting to think that is bases quality most so from the time spent in bed rather than the degree of fluctuation between Sleep/Deep Sleep and Awake. Especially because I think I wake up feeling worse on days that look like this and on days that exceed 8 hours in bed. This week, I will try to aim for about 7 hours of sleep and see how I feel.

*I do want to get better about recording this with more extensive notes. How active I was in day, what I ate, menstrual cycle, overall mood and disposition, etc.

Soft Shell Crafts : Fresh 2013

Soft Shell Crafts is a journal making project and business I started a year and half ago. It's been moving along at the slow and steady pace of the friendly turtle.
Here is a smattering of the most recent SSC work of 2013. Much more to come over the next few months.

Tamarin Monkey

Tokyo, Japan

The Tides

Italian Boot

Food Eaten, 2.13.13

Breakfast (8am)
-collard greens and red onions cooked in butter with salt and garlic powder
-2 eggs, sunny side down, cooked in butter
-1 pint of warm red miso broth

Mayday! Application Photos

i am creating another mailchimp account to manage

fuck me.