awake

consciousness enters my mind and my eyes are open
the world is still dark
and i wonder what time it is, with hesitation
3:12am
there is no good reason to be awake
after 4 short hours of rest
after over 10 of work
and 5 of play

the world is deafly quiet
only the sounds of the remainders of a damp friday october evening
i listen to the drips and occasional passing car
wondering how any of it could be

my stomach starts to talk
and i am grateful for the children's restfulness
...but it doesn't last long

a door opens
footsteps come down the hall to pee
jesse's maybe?
and we discover how sensitive to sound these small humans are
and accept with all our patience that sometimes they just need to cry

and here i am
as we approach another 4am
music on
email checked
mind awake
wondering, what ever will i do with myself now.