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Rochester, Geneese River, PLEX, home

Moonchild

I was born June 24th, under the sign of Cancer. Although I am only 2 days into this zodiac, I have always identified as a true Cancer.

Comforting.
Nurturing.
Quiet.
Homebody.
Emotional.

To name a few.

Water.
Cardinal.
The Moon.

The Moon.

Never before this year have I felt more in tune with our planet's evening companion.
Emotionally and physically.

As the moon waxes, I intensify. Erratic emotional swings. Exhaustion. A lower threshold to manage and deal with problems.
As it wanes, a centering calm sets in with more ease.

The full moon has felt significant. Events occurring if not on it, at least around it. Transitions.
February, August, and November being the most significant according to my memory.
I am grateful for both the arrival and departure of that fullness.

Conclusions are not something I can arrive, but it is interesting to think on and that thought does not feel like time wasted.

Food

Things I want to eat more of or currently eat and feel good about* :
-whole grain bread*
-eggs*
-kraut*
-butter*
-sunflower oil*
-greens : kale, chard, etc. Increase variety
-root vegetables : squash, carrots, parsnips
-meat, once a week in small portions
-dark chocolate, occasionally
-more variety in grains : rice, quinoa, oats. Long soaks
-more fermented foods : kimchi, miso, ogi
-tea*
-garlic and onions*
-yogurt / cultured milk / raw milk
-nuts / nut butters
-fruits, dried or fresh. in moderation. bananas.
-beans

Things I want to eat less of or stop eating entirely :
-sugar, especially cane
-white flour
-coffee
-alcohol
-processed, industrially produce cheese

sleep

it just won't come.

Possibilities expanded

Mountain drawings transformed
With the help of Jesse

Contact Lens : A Whole New World

After 14 years of wearing glasses, I decided it was time to move on to contact lens.
Here are the new, awesome things I have discovered in the past 22 hours :

-drink tea (and eating soup) with fogging
-lay down to watch a movie
-see stars (and the surrounding area) from the hot tub
-wear cheap sunglasses
-not having dirty, smudgy lens
-peripheral vision! wow!

awake

consciousness enters my mind and my eyes are open
the world is still dark
and i wonder what time it is, with hesitation
3:12am
there is no good reason to be awake
after 4 short hours of rest
after over 10 of work
and 5 of play

the world is deafly quiet
only the sounds of the remainders of a damp friday october evening
i listen to the drips and occasional passing car
wondering how any of it could be

my stomach starts to talk
and i am grateful for the children's restfulness
...but it doesn't last long

a door opens
footsteps come down the hall to pee
jesse's maybe?
and we discover how sensitive to sound these small humans are
and accept with all our patience that sometimes they just need to cry

and here i am
as we approach another 4am
music on
email checked
mind awake
wondering, what ever will i do with myself now.

6.16.12

- somosa sandwich
- gf macaroon
- coffee with whole milk

-water

- left over squash blossoms
- smoothie with apricots, beets, ogi, ginger, almond butter, and water
- 3 slices of black bean bread with butter*

*sometimes bread is just a butter delivery system

Food 6.15.12

- honey wheat bread with garlic scape pesto
- small gf chocolate chip cookie
- ogi
- tea and water

- rice, greens, garlic scape pesto, sour cream (x3 or 4)

- deep fried squash blossoms stuffed with goat cheese, garlic scapes, and habenero
- hard cider
- some red velvet cake

Food 6.14.12

-leftover fermented lentil dish
-bits of honey wheat bread and broken cookies
-honey wheat bread and garlic scape pesto

Food 6.13.12

-overproofed, kinda stale honey wheat with white bean dip
-roast veggies with kraut and more bread and dip + garlic scape pesto
-fermented lentil south indian dish and salmon with onions
-strawberry rhbaurb mulberry crisp throughout day

Food 6.12.12

- ogi
- water
- 2 apricots
- more ogi with pear sauce
- 2 energy bars

-big dinner of greens, bread, garlic scape pesto, strawberry rhbaurb mulberry crisp

Lemur

Food 6.11.12

- s rye and butter
- water
- red velvet cake batter
- s rye and white bean spread
- sauteed spinach and onions in butter with salt
- 3 of these ginger chew
- water
- 1/2 red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting (6in round cake)
- more red velvet cake (and regret)
- potluck! : rice, chickpeas, salad, white bean spread, all sort of veggies, brownie, ice cream

6x6 : Sold

To view and purchase 7500 more small artworks, visit roco6x6.org.

Erin and Potato Herb

Food 6.10.12

- bit of mini chocolate chip vegan ice cream

- 2 eggs cooked in ghee
- water

- falafel with raw spinach and tzatziki sauce
- water
- honey wheat bread and butter
- 2 apricots
- veggie and beef stew
- honey wheat bread and butter

Food 6.9.12

- samosa sandwich
- mint wasabi lime ice cream sandwich
- grape juice
- 2 apricots

- falafel cooked in sunflower oil
- potatoes with salt and paprika cooked in gee
- more falafel 2/ spinach and honey wheat bread
- beef veggie stew
- cider

Food 6.8.12

- ogi
- sunflower sesame multigrain bread (w/ butter)
- 1/2 a cookie
- smoothie (by steve), >2 portions
- 6 tamales

Food 6.7.12

- 1 quart green tea
- 1/2 milk with maple cashew granola
- misc. bread in unknown quantities
- water (not enough)

- 1 old, frozen brownie
- water
- bowl of stew : ground beef, carrots, parsnips, leeks
- the rest of the dark chocolate bar

* serious stomach craps and general body aches soon after. old brownie? beef? eating too much too fast on an empty stomach? menstrual? dehydrated? some combination of all of the above, eliminating any hope of pin pointing the root....most likely.

Dinner, pot luck at Beth's :
- salad with dressing (containing miso)
- mashed potatoes
- potatoes and carrots cooked in duck fat
- broccoli with nuts and sauce
- string beans
- pot pie thing : biscuits, peas, beans, etc
- sweet rice with raisins
- brownie with raspberries
- red wine

Food 6.6.12

- 1-2 vegan chocolate cookies
- some chocolate chips off the tray liners
- 1/2cup ogi with about 2tsp butter mixed in
       * ogi is a porridge made from fermented millet. traditionally west african.
- 1 quart turmeric ginger tea
- water
- few bites uncooked potato bread dough

* mild stomach cramps...sausage leftovers are about a week old. Also contained cheese, not sure of source. Potential cause ?

- community granola and milk
- community falafel and goat cheese

- most of the rest of the dark chocolate bar

- some leftover beans, root veggies, and sausage (cold)
- smoothie by steve containing bananas, butter, maybe hazelnuts, potentially a nut butter, probably dome fermented grain, salt (1 pint)

Food 6.5.12

- cold quinoa, 1 coffee mug full
- 1 quart turmeric ginger tea
- 1/2 bag kettle brand tortilla chips
- 1 homemade energy bar
- small bite vegan chocolate cookie
- water

Feeling good today. Took 1 healthy poop around noon.

-1 orange
- 1/5 organic dark chocolate bar w/ cacao nibs
- water

Feeling light head and a bit tired.

- cold quinoa and kraut, 1 coffee mug full
- more water ; garlic supplement and b-complex supplement

Dinner
Over the past month or so, 4 of friends of mine started this sort of dinner club. The idea being that each Tuesday night, the 4 people involved cook a quart of a dish per person such that everyone has food for the week. An addition 5th person comes in as the resident chef; that person makes the dinner for the evening and is also provided with a quart of the food made by each of the 4 people.
The following was tonight's dinner. Over the course of the next several days, you'll start to see many of the same food repeating.

- 4-6 pork dumplings with lots of spicy peanut sauce
- carrot ginger soup
- asparagus with all sorts of stuff on it
- honey ginger whiskey drink

* did not ask for the source of the pork, so was a little concerned about digestive issues. stomach ache for about an hour starting right after eating; but considering what I ate earlier in the day, I think it was just do to eating too much too fast.

On Food and Eating

Living on the bakery is a lifestyle that is distinct to any other. It's free and strange and unexpected and wild and beautiful. It's eye opening and educational and intense.

It is radically different from what my life looked like just over 6 months ago.

Food being the center of life, most specifically our lives here, it develops itself in a variety of interesting ways whether is consumption, conversation, or

In living here, I've noticed a variety of interesting this about my diet. To name a few :
-reintroduction to meat
-more fermented foods
-new foods / dishes (to me)
-some mysterious, forgotten experiment found in the back of any number of refrigerators
-whether is around

While talking to my friend / coworker Catelyn about the many aspects of living and working in the same place, she mentioned the concept of someone who live/works at the bakery to document the food they eat on a day to day basis as well as their physical state.

I've been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about the body (mine in particular, as it is the only one I can hope to understand) and how each action effects parts of our body. Not the just the food we eat, but the way we move. (See future post entitled "Knee Pain" for further elaboration).

Today (yesterday technically) seems like a good day to start for many reason. It's Monday. I ate (and slept) strangely today.

So here's what Monday looked like :

-cooked carrots, parsnips, and potatoes leftover from the night before (cold, sat out on my bookshelf overnight) with a slice of Potato Herb bread
-1 small apple and some pretzels
-2 eggs, fried (on a hot plate in the living room) and some kraut
-stale Potato Herb bread and Sourdough Rye found in the truck from market, amount incalculable
-mint ice cream taste
-misc. food at potluck (rice, beans, salad, fish, and pie), plate piled high

Fasting

For most of my life my image of fasting revolved around religious traditions, all of which I held little to no stock in. Whether it was just removing one type of food from one's diet or ceasing consumption altogether, I could not wrap my mind around the idea of depriving oneself of basic nourishment (especially one that is often so enjoyable).

It wasn't until about a year ago that the concept of fasting as a cleansing experience was brought to my attention. And the more I thought about, the more I began to see it as a challenge or an experiment. As someone who structures her life around food, could I go a day without eating anything? And, if so, what would it be like?

Several months ago, I gave it a shot. I got hangry (That's right, hungry and anger. One word. It's a very real state of being). My blood sugar was low and I was unfocused and irritable. I ate lunch at 1pm. Game over. Experiment failed.

I now have a friend who fasts (just about) once a week. Like most of the people in my life right now, this is someone who has a contagious excitement towards food. That being said, it was very interesting to see him fast as often as he does. So with the idea back on my radar, I decided that I would try a 24 hour fast. You know, eventually. When I had a day to commit to it. A day when I wasn't cooking much or when I wasn't very active. But who I am trying to kid? I don't have many inactive days.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have witness 2 friends commit it multi-day fasts. One just completed 10 days (she was even going on runs!) The other (who I mentioned above) is on the 5th day of 7.

In addition to this conversation about fasting I have been having with myself (and with others), I have also been trying to take closer looks at my eating habits. What do I eat? How do I feel when I eat those things? How much sugar am I consuming? How much bread? Am I eating enough vegetables? What about protein? How do I start working meat back into my diet? Should I really keep eating this late at night? And why, why do I keep passing such rancid gas?

Yesterday I ate a large, fulling breakfast and a lunch of a similar fashion while continuously snacking and whatever was out of the table. When it came to be dinner time (6-7pm), I wasn't hungry. Maybe this is the time. My Saturdays are as low key or intense as I want them to be.

So I didn't eat dinner. I didn't mention that I was fasting. I even woke up hungry this morning and made plans with myself to eat breakfast and drink coffee at the market. But when the place I decided on for breakfast had a line out the door, I reassessed my hunger. Hungry? Not really. Okay, let's do this.

Worked the market stand for a while, surrounded by wonderful food. No big deal. It wasn't until about 10:30am when I wanted to start hurting consumers. I needed something. Apple cider. I drank a quart.

I did not hydrate as well as I should have today either.

Moods and level of hunger came and went in waves.

A very strange observation : I had not pooped all day (until, literally, just now). But at the market, I got the sensation that I needed to shit. Not that usual, expect for the fact that it was very overwhelming. Like I got lightheaded and even a little dizzy. Then it passed, like nothing. Strange.

After an active morning at the market, I had some very physically inactive time. Reading about food.

I had told myself that I would hold out and eat dinner between 6 and 7pm. I bought salmon at the market. Covered it with onion, olive oil, almond butter, and seasoning and let it sit in the fridge while I waited for my friend/roommate to return to eat dinner with him.

It wasn't until I tried to work on some projects did I realize just how badly my body and mind were ready for food. Maybe part of it was knowing food was in the very near future, but I knew my blood sugar was low.

Okay, just the heel of this bread and some butter. And a bit of chocolate. Hmm, these leftover pumpkin bars look awesome. Devoured quickly, not very mindfully. Step back, consider.

Dinner : the salmon and some bok choy, mushroom, onion sauteed. Ate with a friend and conversation. Mindfully. In my last few bites, I started to feel heavier already and hoped I wasn't overeating. Considering I am eating chocolate now, 45 minutes later, I don't think I did.

All in all, I don't really know how much I gained from the experience. It wasn't as profound as I had originally imaged it. Would I do it again? I think so. For longer, quite possibly.

Bekka, making GF Bread

Artist Statement

Upon viewing my work samples, it may seem that there is a lack of cohesion in terms of visual presence, technique, and level of completion. Although the two means of creating work represented were completed during different periods in my artistic practice, each piece is based on the same fundamental concepts. The first set of paintings you see focused on drawing connections between nature, string theory and Taoist philosophy through the materiality of paint and relationships between color. My studio practice was tenaciously focused and evolved naturally over time. Since exiting academia, I have found myself continually faced with the challenges of focusing on a consistent body of work as my life has been in an ever changing state of being. Due to the lack of a dedicated studio space, my practice has transitioned from `wet on wet oil painting process to more controlled, hard lined drawings. Nonetheless, nature and energy are still a driving elements and the primary subjects of my work.

My recent attraction to mountainous landscapes began with a momentous hike I took last summer along the Appalachian Trail in New York State. The experience of working to be a self-sustaining individual in the wilderness coupled with the sheer beauty of the mountainous landscapes fundamentally effected what and how I make drawings immediately upon return. My subject matter and drawing techniques instantly shifted focus to distant mountainscapes, as if by making the drawing I was feeding my desire to embark into those wild remote places. As the drawings progress, the line work became more intricate and intentional while also maintaining an uncontrolled, seismic nature. My personal energy towards these landscapes began to manifest itself visually through my line work. The lines transformed the mountains in an unexpected way; they became dynamic, and alive instead of silently still. The repetitious drawing process is also very meditative causing each line to be representational of the energy of each individual moment as well as the overall the landscape itself.

In my time as Saltonstall, I would like to further develop the mountain drawings and begin to translate them into the language of painting. I plan on spending time exploring the colony’s grounds and visually documenting the surrounding landscape through traditional drawing and painting methods. I then plan to apply these studies to a more free form, studio based painting practice. With a dedicated studio space, I will be able to adapt the compositions to suit a larger scale as well as create a more three dimensional presence. This will enable the piece to overtake the viewer and allow them to experience the essence of the landscape.

I feel that the environment at Saltonstall will provide me with a balance of both the isolation and community I require to focus on laying the foundation for a new body of work and further my pursuit as an independent artist.

Upward Over the Mountain

Writing my first Artist's Statment in over a year

Artist's Statement

What my work is about

-nature

-energy : expressing and utilizing the energy from elements in nature, specifically things that experience monition that is obvious to human observation like water and air (wind). Currently focusing on / am more attracted to forms that seem more solid and stagnate like mountains (land mass) : representations of earth itself. Having one's feet on the ground, sturdy, while the ground it always subtly moving and changing.

-Taoist philosophy

-NYS landscape ; mountains

-human relationship with nature

-meditative ; repetitious

-process

-past work : talk about painting process, importance of texture and line, form





What I plan to accomplish at Saltonstall

-Saltonstall will provide me with the opportunity to jumpstart and begin development on a new path in my artistic process

I would like to use my time at Saltonstall to engage in and become immersed in the natural environment that the property can provide. I would like to use the time to engage in new ways of practicing and refining my media. I would like to establish a process that involves both working in nature and experiencing it has it is happening while recording more realistic representations of my surroundings (traditional nature studies). I would also like to utilize that practice by bringing it into the studio and engaging it with a more free-form, abstract mode of working and expressing my subject matter.

I would like my subject matter to express the unparalleled beauty of Upstate New York's landscapes while creating forms, lines, and textures that express the energy that those landscapes hold.

Media--painting and drawing (collage ?)


-talk about current mt. drawings, ideas of expansion (into paint and various mixed media)


As you can see, it's moving slowly and lacks organization. This is going to take some time...